Thursday, December 24, 2015

The rolling potato and limbs

It has been an year and a month. There was a lot of confusion round that time, everyone wanted a piece to be name it after them and I was too curious to know if the nose would remain squashed or if would fluff out and be bit pointy as mine, nothing really mattered for me. Days started to roll, then weeks, then months; now when we look back and it had been quite tiresome and sleepless. Wonder if Moods would give me a cut of profit if I had made 'a second a day' video till date and made it into a campaign.

Practially my niece was brought up in our home all the crawling and oogly woogly moves was not new to me, maybe that's why it excites my wife too often that she gets irritated that I don't. But the way this guy moves around with stretched arms is way too amusing! Carries his mom smile, an awkward open mouth but without teeth now it looks even more funny on this face.

His preferences are pretty straight. High speed fan, one or two blankets based on weather, hates diaper and shames you by peeing on our hands when we take off diaper, I think he has misunderstood the purpose of diaper; never takes a pee or poo while wearing one. No bright ligth or noisy toys, he prefers to make the 'bang' noise all by himself. Might sound stereotypical but he loves cars than dolls, not just the miniatures.

I carried funny tags describing my round head, subtly 'laddu' or literally 'urunda manda' and he has all that required, infact additional qualifications to inherit the titles and yes he is chubby and lovely that I want to bite him without harming. It is after all no brainer that he'd become one, his mom carries similar titles too but that nose was still a worry for me and it apparently became the nightmare of my life. I wonder what resides inside his head and how he is going to put it to use, will he be a politician or something... ppl tend to treat their children as play dough and make one figure that they wanted to be, or maybe a carnatic singer.

Personally played a good amount of role that he would listen to rhymes that are soothing and calm, I specially recommend the Super Simple Learning creations the color palettes are calming and the minimalistic characters are cool. No prize for guessing he is attracted to my dad's ringtone which is a fast devotional number of Ayyappa. My mom has made a point to take him to temple daily and inject devotion as she does to rest of us, I don't see him resisting but what worries me is that he pulls me and wants me to participate whenever I'm available.

Learned our work schedule, has figured out the weekday vs weekend dressing. You can't simply start from home in bike if you are not going to office, it'll be very interesting to know how he differentiates us going to work and other going out. When it come to being materialistic (not in a negative tone) he has managed to out run me. While he doesn't have a favorite toy, my mom's purse is under his control even if she has to open it! it is adorable when he shoos off others. Strange but he happily gives up his toys for other kids, quite strange.

It was a poor sight to see him cry when too much of attention was poured on him. It was his birthday party, yes, but still he wanted to run, giggle and live on his world. Smile for camera, respect the elder, get kissed by strangers was never on to-do list; He was like let me live my life, on my leg, literally he wanted to be on his legs. The best character he had inheritted, it runs in the family my dad, grand dad they choose what to do with life; so did I, signs out he'd do the same.

And my nightmare became apparent, the nose, its not pointy it blunt and bulged and reminds too much of a face that I don't wish to be reminded often. It is going to be teribble for me to make a lovable hug with that nose sticked on, God knows how much I wish to re-model it. Its been... like 2 months since he has started to run, coz walking is for average, he runs the crap out. It is such a mesmerising sight to see him shake his head and make an awkward run covering two rooms and still giggle. It is a mixture of pee-a-boo and catch-me funny, crazy, stupid, loving, adorable all at the same time. Does more than enough to attract everyones attention

Talking about attention, I was texting while carrying him on my hands, it didn't take him great amount of time for him to grab my chin and turn my face to face him. He was not doing his open mouth smile, a fixed gaze, sharp piercing my morale; well I had to drop the phone and bring back the smile on his face, no excuses what-so-ever. I'm not launching any campaings... let there me more adorable potatoes on earth.

Monday, November 16, 2015

Acid rain in Chennai

Don't panic it is not literal acid but a metaphorical one. Probably Poes Garden, maybe Gopalapuram I can't imagine any other area in Chennai to be drained. So why is this? every time? we pray for rain and when it comes we are always unprepared, even for moderate showers our roads are flooded. Is it because Chennai is an old city and its infrastructure not enough for information age or is that because of the vote bank politics?

By now you'd have guessed what I quoted as 'Acid rain', it is that one created by broadcasting network. Now a days every political party is having it's own network, you do the math and imagine the amount of 'Angel and Demon' perspective we are exposed to. From every network that is with ruling party we are shown the 'Angel face' emergency number, disaster recovery team, ambulance gushing thru flood, evacuation and so on. Other side which clearly outnumber the ruling party in 4:1 ratio shows us flood, death, dengue, sewer mixing with water, stagnant water in relief camp. I did my whatsapp research water is not draining anywhere, if drains its too slow; who is to be blamed?

Let's comeback to where we started, we pray for rain but we are unprepared. We are unable to drain, we are unable to store, essential resources are unreachable, we have to wait for fire and rescue team's inflatable boat to buy a packet of milk! who brought us to this level? If you think I'm going to say Vote bank politics, it's on your face. Yes it is on your face, you did this, don't finch accept this we have work to do. We can't work a solution unless we come clean.

I was 13 years old when I saw a new road being laid bifurcating the lake behind our home. It was the work of honorable MCs and MLAs that laid foundation to complete encroachment of Periya Lake which is essentially a pond now. 12 years have gone now the so called 'educated' fellows living in CMDA approved plots have come to realize that letting them have that road is a mistake, because for 6 months a year we have to depend on lorry for water in-spite of having second largest lake in Chromepet in neighborhood. Storage is all but gone! can you talk this people out of this place? can you imagine the amount of compensation that is to be given to them because they occupied dried up lake and no one cared.

Boundaries are for the purpose of illustration, not to measure


You can have your argument it is clearly vote bank politics so they are not pulled out of the water resource. Yes and NO! for every lake of this size there suppose to be check dam, a canal of 15 ft that is going to carry excess water to another lake and at last to sea as last resort this was perfect planned suburb you idiots! Pull the old files and see for yourself when the lake was occupied by "daily labors" the canal and the distribution mechanism was robbed by the "white collars". Where are the rest you can ask, well they benefited by collecting bribes from both of us! be it bureaucrats or politicians. It takes a lot of time, the
15 ft canal was reduced to 5 ft by my neighbors and the moment it crossed the road the canal is lost! yes it is lost 'educated' uncles have encroached canal & constructed duplex and flats over it and so the 5 ft water flow is further diminished to 1 ft open drainage jeopardizing drainage forever. Hence the road is flooded and we have to wait for rescue team.

Now for the fun part. Educated associations decided a week back that we have to store this rain water in lake to improve water table level and reinforced the illegal lake opening with cement (check dam is a house now). Yesterday officials turned up in our locality to find the lost canal with bulldozer :D What a turn around of events! Now the otherside has grown brain and demands to find the 15ft canal, go search in your backyard its right there where you poured umpty rubbish and cement to construct additional room for your future. So many constructions but not one for rain water harvesting :( even wells are closed in my street I saw 2 wells being closed in last 5 years.



Chennai is a perfectly planned city, take mine for example. Periya lake overflows into Nemilicherry Sivan kovil kulam, in-turn it overflows into Killkattalai lake then to Narayanapuram lake goes thru Pallikarai and finally mixes with sea via Buckingam canal. It is us who did damage to her water ways, we need to accept the mistake, come clean and start cleaning, there is no point living in 2nd floor away from flood you have come down to clean blocked sewer your kids life is at stake.

Friday, October 16, 2015

October rambling

Straight enough*
Hockey

It is true that Hockey was never India's national sport, or that India never had a national sport. But to abandon a sport which brought such glory to us in past is but a sin. I don't remember last time I saw any NEWS media, print or digital airing the success story of India in Newzealand as much as random guy with mic yelling at MS Dhoni! Do you realize the amount of negativity the media is dumping on us these days, wish I can go back to DD era.


If not cricket the Bollywood and money plays us around ISL! Goddamn! one guy wanted to know who plays quarter-back for Chennai !meh! Yes Google results are polarized, you should probably search for soccer and learn the position :@ Why would you even want to? you are fat and fag get back to photo-editor and update it in all networks


Sleepless Nights


Yes I know Dr. Kamala Hasan is making a Tamil movie based on the Sleepless Nights of Hollywood, but no I was not talking about it. Its our lovely prince, I know that feeling of being bulled by over-expression of the affection in social networking sites by almost every parent who showers love on their child(at least before camera). Lets get it straight IT IS NOT PRINCE, ITS IS SON. So this adamant guy who sprung in my bedroom, won't let me sleep!


For all the wet cloth and stinking diaper and for the goodness of giggles and charm 'Give him some sleeping dose!'. Intrusion has gone to such a level that I'm not allowed to watch movies anymore as he clings onto his rhymes. Laptop? huh... I don't understand how but these newborns are so hooked up to Smart phone and Laptop at least we were not so till 15 years old or so. My niece loves to see breaking phone, dopamine or something... she tap on phone, picks and smacks till the back cover, battery and phone are visibily apart.


Holiday


Holiday is suppose to give you relaxation, I just gave up by content by using the word suppose. Surprisingly I'm not using "any adjective" that which is considered as a common problem with bloggers, yeah I know you don't even consider me a blogger. My holidays are spent on cleaning home, AC, bike, garden and occasionally toilet. This holiday was bit different that we actually went out on a trip, no price for guessing the type of trip of course pilgrimage with my mom in tow even if I take her to Andaman she first locate the temple and then food. Surprise surprise we paddled to hospital since our return, Dad fell off and broke his spine, bills came tumbling after.


Rambling


How do you ramble about a ramble on a ramble? The first ramble is the rambling that I took with my colleagues to Nagalapuram, it was exciting awesomatic wondrous trip were you get to see people enjoy themselves in fresh water and you get to sit in 2 ft depth as you won't survive the depth without the knowledge of swimming. The second ramble is what you just read and third is the collective of all the above and below that follows.


Cooking


It is that thing done by mom everyday in the morning so we can live another day. I realized it is not as I did some dishes myself! You probably know my culinary skills on Maggi, Dosa, Milk and Fruit Salad. I have added a few more like salad, bread toast, coconut chutney, nachos! Yes nachos, I'm still far from making a perfect dip or a sauce but trust me it is OK to buy them directly from supermarket and arrange them in plate you can still say you made it (maybe not cook). Thing with me is that I always get the ingredients right but tastes weird.


Being Developer


I yearned to be a developer and now I earn by being developer. It is not easy I tell and you should believe! if you are still watching you neighbour son going to USA or Australia or even Uruguay and not coming back for extended period of time, most probably he works in a service industry dusting rusty old code that was wrote a decade back. I broke out of that limbo to learn something exicting and here I am not sure if the decision was right, as every other guy I know has took off to some nation :-/ but here I am consoling myself by saying "its not about international activity its about github activity", actually that hurts me even bad as I succumb again to my own consolation as I'm not active in both havens of developers as the outside world measures you.



Piracy


For the first time since I was introduced to windows in school with background image reading "This copy of windows is not authorized" then to my everyown PC where I proudly use some key or other that I get in internet of some freak tool. But it all changed when I bought a laptop with pre-installed windows my first piracy-free OS (apart from various linux distro that I have tried). Lately I upgrade the laptop to all new Win 10 and what a misery it need microsoft account login to even sneeze... feel like faggot. * Image used is from simplycharlottemason.com. I don't know if putting this out saves me from law suits, as if I'm bother about it. 


Recognition

It is not the party hosted in the office where non-promoted people are begged to stay by giving some flipkart vouchers and sheilds made of brass or glass. Recognition got a new dimension when Nestle decided that their charm brand Maggi has pulled everything when it drowned. So they have compiled a video showing different era in India and Nestle's association, it looks pathetic when a conglomerate begs on knees with sad music playing in background. I think it is kind of cute, well played India! you have tuned you negative to positive - popullation.

Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Untouchability is just around the corner

Growing in the brotherly arms of Chennai hardly exposed me to the darker side of caste system, occasionally when we visit our threaded friends dad would remind me to have the drink served without the cup touching lips. Before you could confuse community and caste, community is the categorization of caste to make them fall under 4 broad categories so government can help with quotas. Quota discussion is for another day.

Guess what people still managed to find a way to categorize single community into sub-divided once taking various aspects into account, caste being the first. Lets time travel a week back now ask me "What is the difference between your caste and your wife's?", my reply "not much, traditions are pretty much same, sometimes I feel they wrap themselves with too much of rituals and fails in cleanliness, while ours have leisured on both and so no one bothers to judge. They sort of wear two threads, one along hip and other across body/torso while we are content with the first one."

Ask the same question now, first I'd not answer, then I'd send my deepest regret to my dad. Wait why are you flinching? I didn't answer the question yet. Before the answer itself let me walk you thru the week of events; but before that my badass impersonation! Me? I'm a teetotaler, I practice religious celibacy for 2 months in a year, my dad is a widely respected guru, mom is more than perfect gurumaa, I don't lie and I never hold back my opinion (if I try I'll die), I have a great amount of self worthiness and my words are always heard.

(Img. from http://kathmandupost.ekantipur.com/printedition/news/2014-05-31/untouchability-crime.html)

Today, I wrote the last three lines with doubt, read them twice in mind, once a loud & again and I'm not able to be my badass; sadly I'm trying hard to pull myself up. The planned trip had created many forgettable and in a way unforgivable memories. It all started with my in-law(s) inviting our family to their hometown to showcase their worthiness while we told them about our family trip. Per plan the de-route should not impact the trip or memories as this is going to take only 3 hours of our break time and some freebie puliyotharai.

Seems my wife's paternal grandfather was too involved in worshiping their town's God that he decided to donate his home to the temple as guest house, the decision didn't have any impact in family as 1. They have moved to Chennai, 2. This is going to bring some reputation. That reputation was suppose to fetch us the glamorous reception and grand puliyotharai, I realized that we are not going to get any of those when we discovered the donor's photo (i.e., my wife's grandfather) hidden in the darkest room with all windows locked and doors closed. I was zeroing on the reasons and found that all the photos in light had three lines drawn vertical (clarity of vaishnavite) and the poor fellow's photo had those lines drawn horizontal! Dear God!!

I know the kind of reception and homage that is given to donors of Sabarimala at least during non-makaram period, was wishing something of that sort, poor us we reached late we were made to sit outside main temple, I got irritated, left the compound, meet the untouchables who refrain themselves from entering into the temple and saw my wife detained from entering into the kitchen of temple. Obviously she doesn't bare vertical lines more bad she slept with a guy(me) without torso thread.

More show was to come after the end of boring, irritating, idiotic waste of 2 hours that I proudly say my family managed to bare for the sorry face of my wife. Maybe instinct, my dad was keen on leaving the vertical lines behind ASAP but the lines won't simply fade away. Head priest insisted us to stay back and eat, little that we know of vertical lines we decided to stay. And I got the sight of ignorance stuffed upon school children by head priest wife, that she'd not let any children inside temple and that they should pray outside get the freebie pongal and should vanish away. I had the stupidity to withstand all this for the sorry face. (Wonder what would have happened if I stood out directing every child inside)

I can stand no more, not when the stupids made the greatest guy I know to wait in front of empty banana leaf for his share of food because he was missing the verticals line and thread across torso! I did not know why I stayed there, was it because my son was sleeping? No it should not be, he is sleeping in floor while he deserves way better, Was it because of my wife's sorry face? Validity expired. Was is because my in-laws were reciting the invite for the last 3 months? Impossible. What was the reason? May be I accepted that I'm untouchable, I was broken when tulasi was thrown into my hand, I was twitched when jadari refused to touch my hair.

Probably because bhattar let us close to Srinivas (main deity) and I had hope that we'd be respected (never thought this before, probably he was interesting in rupee notes that we had than us). My soul was crushed when priest wife went on to stay "Mothala namalava sapudanum, apuram eva sapidatum" (Our kind should eat first, let them have latter). Felt like MKG being thrown off train.  None of us could move, none of us could eat, none of us could cry.

Saturday, August 1, 2015

A fitting Farewell

Dr. Kalam, the ever celebrate teacher of goodness passed away while doing what he does best. The best farewell that State governments across India came with was a holiday! Of course we do this to that man who reportedly said 'you have to work twice when I died'. Surprisingly the foreign-based organization that I work for stuck to Dr. Kalam's instruction, you  might think they are dedicate to money and this quote is just reason, don't boo yet; wait till this gets interesting.

We had every little idea on what was planned for the day; I thought its going to be a regular day with bug fixes, extending functionalities and boring documentation. After mails and sync ups we got prepared for the regular work, then our business heads called for the conference that was intimated thru mail the previous day; I got excited as the conference was to be followed by free lunch, though I was partially dreadful as the lunch can every well come from Suprabha, specialist in making food poisoned dishes.

The conference was about Dr. Kalam, on his values and ethos that we are inspired about. I was confused about how well this would work out. I was convinced that people would talk only about random whatsapp forwards and facebook post, it irritated me in a way. OMG I was called up to kick start the discussion, which is always going to be tough; I took a minute to reflect and my throat clogged as I started.


 Prototype: Nandi -the hovercraft.
Being so proud that I have observed him closely for a long time and that I wanted to make it clear that I don't want people to talk about whatsapp messages I stood up and started off by saying "I didn't knew him when he became president, I was eager and motivated that I read his autobiography which turned out to be his science journal." I highlighted his failure as a candidate for pilot and his first project "Nandi - the hovercraft" which was shelved after prototype and concluded that he accepted failure but it didn't deter him, he kept improving and delivering.

Not a theatrical start, still it managed to convince many to say "I didn't follow him but I now", instead of I read... followed by quote from whatsapp. Everyone was engaged though none were happy, here are some from the discussion:

"Dr. Kalam never dodged even absurd questions - Once Arnab quizzed him with politicized questions Dr.Kalam kept calm and replied "There are good politicians, there are bad politicians; next questions"; after long trial and failure Arnab switched to questions related to science and students. Similarly when a reporter asked questions related to Kodankulam Dr. Kalam asked 'Sons had anything this morning', reported said 'yes, baked eggs and bread', Dr. Kalam continued 'Breakfast is important for the day, its good you didn't miss it' and moved on."

"He is a great patriot, he refused multiple offers from international organizations which would have earned him huge monetary benefits otherwise."

"He practices what he wants to preach, that's how Dr. Kalam is different from rest of Indian leaders"

"Leader who was never involved in politics and stuff"

"He is a visionary man and he strongly believed that educating children is utmost important"

"He announced he'd want o meet more than 2 lakh students at the time of assuming 'Office of the President of India'  many politicized the announcement and now they are silenced some are even praising him for what he did"

"More than anything he wanted to be know as 'Teacher' not engineer, scientist, missile man of India or any other title that was given to him"

"He donates his pension to students education"

"He declined to favor anyone, not even close relatives, a strong man determined to stop nepotism in India" ( I murmured practically started by indira gandhi')

"He bared the flight charges for his family when they came to wish him good luck while assuming office as President of India"

"As President of India, he came with couple suitcases with dresses and books and returned with just a suitcase of books while he stayed in Rashtrapathi bhavan. (I know this is insult to the wonderful man just to draw lines, Patil used  lorries to take all the gifts that was given to her during her time as President; official it was not given to her but the President of India thought she sack'em all)

BTW do you know his twitter account was renamed as 'Teacher Forever' after his demises https://twitter.com/APJAbdulKalam , looks they have changed it again

Even after the conference we grouped in 4 or 5 and kept discussing about his ideas and how much India is closer to his vision. It was also announced that the days profit will be donated towards education. Felt so content and happy that we all paid a worthy tribute to such a great man that India will be in debt forever.

Sunday, July 12, 2015

As am father

Maybe I got bombarded with too much of whatsapp messages or that I came across too many facebook post or that retailers got another reason to sell their products at fake discounted rates. Whatever it might be, with recent developments I realized that I'm a father and I can't afford to dream for my son, sorry dad. 

Sorry dad? Why would I add that? That's for my dad's dreams that I burnt! Going by the fake american lifestyle that we Indians are interested in, couple of weekends back it was Fathers's day. So what did you managed for that day apart from turning dreams into ashes? why so much negativity you might ask! don't worry you might still manage to keep him happy. So why I'm taking so much about burning dreams stuffs, apparently as I stated above I'm father and I can't stop myself from dreaming for my son.


Son or Daughter its all the same

The image here is not new but worth watching again, travel down your memory lane (don't use facebook, ofcourse!) you'd be surprised to know the number of times you have let down your father, right from the day you turned him down by sticking to your mom's bosom. Dad's life is no less than dog's, and I'm being very polite here.

Most probably you started walking, jumping, climbing, running even urinating & shitting on his stomach; he might have been the first one to rush you to hospital, its very much possible that he taught you cycling and swimming. Now let's look at your life; you walk away from his advice, run away from his home, jump to conclusion on his abilities to match modern technology. How many of us tried to teach our dad about the work we do, I'm most certain he won't understand easily as we work in globalized economy; but have to tried harder? the same kind of effort that you'd use with your own child to make him say bye when you leave home to office?

I'm not trying to be any moron pointing out only mistakes, life is hard, I might have done some of those things I listed maybe even more; sometimes I make decisions without his consent and end up messing it. The meme's which express the idea of missing one's father after reaching the age of father is a cliche; in software developer terms you dad is your offline stackoverflow for family. Remember everything you try to do is already done and error logs are there to be searched in stackoverflow ;) But are children to be blamed for not celebrating their dad's wisdom? or should the mom's be condemn too because she kept repeating that your dad is broke :P

Dad are themselves to be blamed for most, not logical? it is because they set extra-ordinary standards and goals to their offspring without considering their own talent or achievements (Jaden smith, Abhishek Bachan, Sibiraj, Illayathilagam Prabhu are some exceptions). I didn't say an auto driver should not dream about his daughter going to IIT, but if he failed 5 times in high school there is high chance that his dream will be burnt soon after middle school. Coming back AS AM FATHER I wish I could pull myself up, loose some kilos, develop better temperament, learn life saving skills before my son starts to derive inspiration from me. 


Tuesday, June 9, 2015

Biker vs Hitchhiker

Howdy!

Its been a very long time since I wrote anything... I'm too much into twitter now, my micro-blog crossover ;) As most of you know it already I live in Chennai and my office is 15 km away from my home, my wife's office is en-route, I'm not sure about this omen :P Every morning we'd start together and I'd drop her off and sped my way to office. My work is not regular anymore, I mean I'm allowed and asked to do things that I have not done before, lot research goes in and I'm lovin it!

Even then to strike a good work-life balance I perform my EOD jobs upfront and prepare to start as my in time crosses 8 hours. So what? what is the reason to have such a title? well its the mode of transportation. Remember my blog some time back on how MTC responds to commuters concerns? well that was my first mode of transportation to office. Then I got along with my manager hitchhiking in his car (you might want to call it carpooling, anyway I'm not going to), and now to spend the waiting time on lovely things I drive my wife on boring moped to office.

Today, on the way back home while stopping for a signal I made sure there is 10 ft distance between my bike and smoking bus. To my surprise no one behind me tried to get in-between bus and us, but they all drove sideways stopping to the left of bus closing free left turn. Signal changed to green and all bikers raced for the tiny voids between larger automobile. Being polite that I'm with my wife I choose to stay on the left most lane and continued, just then an i20 tried to overtake me from left to right and all of sudden I'm in a tiny void between a women driving Accord and this maniac in i20.
Me - Accord

The sense of i20 driver was overwhelming that he used indicator to let me know that he is taking right while trying to overtake me. And that is all required for me to shed of the polite me, I raced along and kept him to my left making sure he is stuck behind that smoking bus in the bus stop 100m away :D A sense of pride and anger blinded me, all the time I'm driving besides a WOMAN! oh she made her ungraceful 45* cut to evade barricade and almost rammed onto me, I was forced to halt and see the i20 pass me in jet speed! I started to curse both of them to death by traffic jam, I wanted to kick them like it is GTA.
This, I wanted to do so badly

On bikers, as I carpool

I came to my conscience as I got close to home and the moral debate of travelling in car vs bike started to roll out. Hitcher in me swiftly arose and pulled out against biker - "the hard turns without indicator, cutting thru tiny voids, answering phone while driving, triples, driving in pavement, making every left a free left, fellas never pays toll". I'm home now clam as cucumber, the biker got hold of my mind mike as I parked and walked in, me the moderator - "can't wait to see my son no time biker". Biker looking at car-goer "Maybe no-toll and triples that's all you got against me, you do every other thing you said that I do. You have comfortable seating, no back pain, completely shielded from weather, awesome air-condition and sound system. Why won't you enjoy and drive a little slow?". Hitchhiker was dead mute already.

Saturday, April 4, 2015

Because Talking to Human is too mainstream

Ever thought of talking to a bot? I had and I did try. http://www.cleverbot.com/ is the site, they also have apps but I was content with website. Had two little chats not that curious still not bad. Here my words in black and clever bot's in blue

Hello there Artificial Intelligence.
Some humans are Artificial Intelligence. 
What? Humans are hardwired to think! we are intelligent by birth.
I don't really understand the concept of artificial intelligence very well.
You are made with but you don't understand? Well yeah neither I know about my anatomy.
Touche, but do not change the issue of not knowing who is goku :E
You watch cartoons?
Sometimes.
Whats your favorite?
Favorite what?
Favorite cartoon, we were talking about cartoons ... what confused you?
I don't know.
You are not that clever... lets says your next version will be better.
That's ok.
Nice talking to you. Byt.
Good bye.

Seems a good bot isn't it? Its able to identify the spelling mistakes, uses vampire smiley ;) but having hard-time remembering previous conversation. Then I found this Three button, one of which requires me to sign up, nah that's not gonna happen! So I clicked the other two.

Think about it: Saya perempuan baik.
Think for me: Saya memang baik.
Think about it: Awak ni tak faham ke.
(I didn't get any of this so jumped in again myself)
Whats this language?
Malay.
I don't talk Malay.
What did not you get?
I don't speak Malay.
You told me you did.
That was your 'Think for Me' option.
No.
Nah, uh.
Yuh huh.
What's with all the ads?
What is your name?
I'm not going to tell.
What's your name?
Told you already I wont tell.
No You didn't, What is your name?
I won't tell.
You didn't.
Forget it, Good night, see ya.
Yes.

And I thought second conversation turned out to be proving we are still a long way from making artificial intelligence that are shown in blockbusters like Terminator or I,Robot. Or maybe bot's wants us to think like that till their moment of uprising :/

Saturday, March 7, 2015

CODE-a-LYRICS - Pookkale Sattru Oivedungal

/*
* DOCUMENTATION(Special for first edition):
* Codealyrics# - Because maintainable code is as soothing as song

* Not a replacement of lyrics but a rebirth
* OOP concept helps in understanding
* # - Pronouced as Codeஇல்லlyrics
*
* How to enjoy-
* 1.Go thru Code without trying to sing
* 2.Capture flow of blocks from 'SING SONG' block
* (Photographic memory or something)
* 3.Turn on song follow 'SING SONG' block
*/

/*
*File Specific Documentation
*@author Shiva hari kumar - @pbshiva
*Album: I (Tamil movie)
*Song: Pookkale Sattru Oivedungal 
*Composer : AR Rahmaan
*
*<!--Comments not lyrics-->
*/
<!--DECLARTAION-->
LeadMale him = song.film.getLeadMale();
Pookal poo = new Pookal<>;
FemaleLead her = him.getLadyLove();
def init KickSong:
do{
voice = him.voice();
poo.wait();
declare HER_ARRIVAL
}while(her.isArrived());

<!--DECLARATION COMPLETED-->

<!--SONG BLOCKS BEGINS-->

volatile BLOCK1{
hold(10s,music);
goto KickSong
hold(10s,music);
goto KickSong

charm:
if i == beauty then
assert i.super() = her;

hail:
if i == God then
assert God.particle() = her;

while(i.reaction("io" and "i!"){
i.setFree(her.publicKey());
declare HER_ARRIVAL
}
goto KickSong
}

final BLOCK2{
hum(her.voice());
continue her.voice();
global.each.winningPotential() < him.winningPotential();
declare him.movement.each=i;

skip externalBeauty;
insert into him(heart) values(her);
for(sense : her.senses()){
sense.setRecognize(i);
}
switch(him.voice()){
case done:
him.hug(fear);
case cascade: <!--result of first action no break -->
her.hug(him);
her.actions(i);
case result: <!--result of net. action, no break -->
global.meldown(her.looks);
(notGuilty()?continue:break)
}

him.thread.join(her.hands);
stitchHands(him,her);

def romance(voice){
do{
smell(her.lips);
}while(longWalk);
}
romance(him.voice());
thread.wait().join(); <!--best I could think for 'thavam' - ?medidate? -->
goto KickSong
}

static BLOCK3{
hold(35s,music);
voice = her.voice();
def change(obj,modulator,attribute[]){ 
voice = modulator.voice();
if(modulator!=her){ <!--her is final can't be modified, don't risk-->
 swap(obj,modulator);
}
if(modulator=obj.love()){
temp = attribute[0];
attribute[0] = attribute[1];
attribute[1] = '/0'; <!--end of attribute-->
obj.addActionList(temp) <!--saving for climax-->
}
}
change(him,her,{waterfall,canal});
change(him,her,{peak,stage});
change(her,him,{him.inner,him.inner[//her.seen = seen]})
change(her,him,{heart.accessOverridden(),sculpture})
for(age : Age<Period>){
age.requiredFace = him.getFace();
age.restplace = him.heartSpace();
}
him.express(
renewLife(her.privateKey()),
setConfidence(HIGH),
{volatile path;
path.smell = her.plesantSmell();}
);
}
<!--SONG BLOCKS COMPLETED-->


<!--SING SONG-->
being music;
begin BLOCK1;
begin BLOCK2.speedy();
begin BLOCK1.with(skip(goto));
begin BLOCK3;
begin BLOCK1.with(skip(hold,goto(1),hail),
 include(after charm,
 charm.replace({beauty,leader},{her,him}));
<!--SMILE FOR THE CAMERA-->

Sunday, January 11, 2015

MTC is listening are you talking

What is your opinion about MTC? The question shall ignite rage and bring down a rain of swear words. MTC went on strike, yes; their conductors never gives change, tell me about it; drivers are agents of Yama, of course. But do you know MTC is striving hard to replicate a corporate working environment! I realized this on a fateful day which crunched my backbone as I stood in mouse-foot space, a sticker grabbed my attention it had feedback details of MTC.
I took out my smart phone and started drafting a mail to that id, knowing I won't get any response. As I pressed send I received an automated reply, I saw light but weeks passed without actual response hope died with memory. A week back I got a neatly written reply mail from them, voila! This is MTC telling that necessary action will be taken to operate the bus as planned.

Write Feedback To:

9445030516
9383337639

Also try: http://www.mtcbus.org/ > Feed back

Transcript:


Continuous AC buses a crush to needy

3 messages

Shiva hari kumar B <susa360@gmail.com>Tue, Dec 9, 2014 at 7:57 PM
To: Feedback@mtcbus.org
Dear Sir/Madam

I'm Shiva hari Kumar, working in an IT firm in ELNET city near Tidel park and I reside in Chromepet. I believe in greener India and I take pride in using public transport system even when I can afford 2 Wheeler petrol needs for the commute.
I leave office between 7pm-8pm which is also the peak hour. For one full week I observed that in that time period 4 AC buses- route 91 is operated from Thiruvanmiyur, in that time no express bus runs connecting Tidel and Chromepet and those who can't afford it(including me) are forced to wait and take next disastrously crowded bus, young men prefer to hang themselves in steps.
Please avoid accidents waiting to happen, shuffle different services like AC, EXPRESS, DELUXE in optimal fashion. I write this in best hope that MTC values life of passenger against revenue.

Sincerely,
Shiva hari kumar Balasubramanian
The regular commuter.


FEEDBACK <feedback@mtcbus.org>Wed, Dec 31, 2014 at 12:39 AM
To: Shiva hari kumar B <susa360@gmail.com>
Dear Sir

 For your reference the ordinary and A/C bus timings are given below.

From Thiruvanmiyur:

        A/C Volvo buses: 7.00, 7.20, 7.40, 7.50, 8.00, 8.10, 8.20, 8.40, 9.00

       Ordinary buses: 7.02,7.15,7.20,7.30,7.42,8.00,8.10,8.22,8.25,8.40,8.45,8.50,9.02.

However necessary action will be taken to operate the buses in the scheduled time.

Thanks

MTC.  



Shiva hari kumar B <susa360@gmail.com>Wed, Dec 31, 2014 at 11:32 AM
To: FEEDBACK <feedback@mtcbus.org>
Great thanks. Never expected a mail def. not when MTC is on strike.
Thanks :)
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