Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Parody on "A Woman" pic published on FB

When I was born, A woman was there to screw me: Nurse
A woman was able to make my dear mom cry: Grand mother
When I grew up, A woman was there to push me down and say "we were playing" : Sister
I went to school a woman was there to punish me: Teacher
When was texting a woman was able to break my phone: Mother

I was happy and alone, A woman was able to put hole in my purse: Girlfriend
A woman was able to get my bank balance to zero and exceed my credit card limit: Wife
I was working hard and sleep late still a woman was able to spoil my sleep: Daughter

My boy will not be able to feel safe and sleep sound without me by the side, but a woman was able to make him hate me: Daughter-In-Law
Even if I die a woman will eat me : Land

This is a parody to the pic posted on I Hate LOnlinezz But It Lovez ME More, FB

If you are a man realize where you are
Pardon me women if it had hurt but show some mercy on men!! :(

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Am I Indigenous?

My father is from Devakottai, Ramanathapuram, whenever we have a get together in our family they use their own language technically known as Tamil. Born and brought up in Chennai suburb I can speak good Tamil but barely understand their language. Problem is very serious that search for restroom will lead you to kitchen thats why I used to maintain a map for my grandfathers home to assist myself in case of emergency ;). But as per the “Cultural code of conduct” followed in Tamilnadu I’ll be forgiven for any mistake that I make, afterall I’m a foreigner to them yes foreigner!!

Another crazy fact is that my grandfather was brought up in Kumarapuram, Thirunelveli not in Ramanathapuram. But I was never tired in making efforts so countined my journey to find my actual native might be my mothers birthplace! Sirkazhi it is, situated next to Chitambaram rich in water and fertility. The search was put to end even before I can make a plan! Coz I have my dad’s name as Last name not my mom’s. In my school application form I have filled...... hope I have filled something against the native column.

So the problem was brought home my home! its Chennai! Even though I can speak faster than “Fine brothers on Youtube” sadly neither here I was acknowledged as native not just because my parents came here to look for job but also I was not able to understand the native Chennai Tamil!

Now coming to the definition of Indegenous: Native of the land.Tell me my friend as per papers my mother tongue is Tamil but I can’t understand any forms of Tamil thats with in my reach neither I wear a traditional dhotie. All done still I’m Tamilan living in TamilNadu Am I Indigenous??

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

What we can eat at food fest when there is really no food

Just a week ago we had a food fest at my organization. On the same day my team had an important work to do which got us late to food fest. Since we were late we made it further late by utilizing some more time to find where/ whether to eat but we have already bought the tokens so we have to eat.

Straight we went inside the cafeteria to find the stalls overflowing with Crowd!! (wonder what) yes I work in a corporate and never bother to call my colleagues as crowd. Neither there was queue to get nor there was a exit to help yourself bring your plate full. The best way is to eat it there and push others to get out and yes its no brainer its just plain truth.

At last we managed to the front row of counter(row!! yes if there is no queue then its got to be row!!). The most awaited surprise was waiting there it will be good  if I give the typical conversation.

Me: Anna! Dhahi Kachori! 2 here are the token
Server1: Onnu thaan iruku(Translation: Just a plate left)
Me: Ok! Anna! ! Channa Samosa!1! token!
Server2: Nahi! Nahi!(Its over)
(I was late for Dhahi Kachori! too late for Channa Samosa)
Supervisor: Sir, you can exchange this with Bhel Poori!
(I peeped into the counter to find all ingredient of Bhel poori scattered all over table, may be they are planning to serve it to me!!)
Me:I'll try to Exchange!!

With sad face I walked towards my table I was not ready to face my friends who are waiting for some feast. I heard a faint voice, Shiva! turned around to find lucky colleagues from other teams with their plates in front of them. I walked close to find they had just a spoon or two of what they had. :) Neither they were lucky, they were in total confusion that how Channa Samosa and Bhel Poori is similar in taste also Pani poori was having curd topping and Dhahi Kochori with hot pani!!

At last we had fruit salad in exchange! I was neither fast to salad but believe me I dare not to peep into counter!! Ended the feast with IceCream or is it IceJuice.

I have also organized / volunteered for food department on some occasion/ fest being an organizer we will have time only to eat last, and eat what is left. I wonder what organizer of this Food fest had! may be paper cups!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Why Life is Hard After 20

On the first day, God created the dog and said: 'Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.'

The dog said: 'That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?'
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: 'Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span.'
The monkey said: 'Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the Dog did?'
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: 'You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.'
The cow said: 'That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years; How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?'
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created humans and said: 'Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years.'
But the human said: 'Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?'
'Okay,' said God, 'You asked for it.'
So, that is why for our first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Does life Bother U

Hi I'm Shiva, all these years life has been bothering me a lot now its time to give back. I have decided to bother life but how? Wait! Life didn't give me all problems at once so I'm waiting for perfect start!!